Daniel Stewart's Tip of the Month: Ride, Repeat, Refrain
Learning to cope with mistakes, losses, slumps, and missed opportunities is a common struggle for many riders. When they occur we must believe that we can handle them - and perhaps even more importantly - improve as a result. Reframing is the tool that helps us to do this.
Reframing occurs when we learn to view negative events in a productive and positive way and when we learn to look past problems so we can see their solutions. While this might prove a bit challenging in the beginning, it is one of the strongest coping skills you can develop - and a skill that virtually always leads to improved riding. Instead of feeling frustrated because you got disqualified, for example, you reframe it into a learning opportunity by identifying what caused it (so you can avoid it happening again in the future). When you've done this, you've reframed the negative situation into a positive one.
Make the rest of your ride the best of your ride!
A main key to reframing is asking self-directed questions when feelings of disappointment or frustration arise. "What caused me to make this mistake?" or "What did I learn from it?" are examples of how positive questions can lead to productive answers, and ultimately a plan for the future.
Another purpose of reframing is to change a potentially stressful or fearful event into one that feels more manageable and less threatening (like when a nervous public speaker imagines her audience in their underwear). Changing what the stressor means to us (by imagining it as something else) changes how we respond to it - change it into something positive and we respond in a positive way.
Here are a few examples:
(1) A rider stopped worrying about a scary fence by calling it "the big purple thingy with the flowered stick-thing poking out."
(2) A rider imagined the dressage judge as a good friend giving her tips and helpful hints.
(3) Riders complained about having to ride a pony named Buckshot Devil until the trainer changed her name to Skittles and hung a glittery pink nametag on her door. Then, everyone wanted to ride her because the trainer had reframed her as something kind and sweet rather than something devilish.
Regardless of the situation, it can almost always be reframed into something positive...but it's up to you to find what that something is. So the next time you get stuck in a rut, make a mistake, or finish poorly, always remember what Einstein said: "In the middle of every difficulty lies an opportunity."
Remind yourself of this and you can reframe any difficulty into an opportunity!
To sign up for equestrian sports psychologist Daniel Stewart's newsletter, visit www.stewartclinics.com
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