Jun 02, 2020

Daniel Stewart's Tip of the Month: Your Ego is not Your Amigo

USEA/Leslie Mintz Photo.

This month we’re going to begin a several-month series about defense and coping mechanisms. It’s common for these two terms to be used interchangeably, but they’re actually quite different. Coping mechanisms are mental strategies that resolve stressful events, while defense mechanisms are behaviors that attempt to avoid or hide from them.

Coping mechanisms are also called adaptive strategies because they help you adapt to challenging situations. Defense mechanisms are called ego-defenses because they function by making you avoid challenges so that you can protect a fragile ego. Unfortunately, ego-defenses distort reality, making you feel like the situation has improved but, in fact, it hasn’t. You might feel momentarily detached from it, but the underlying problem still remains.

A fragile ego can make you blame mistakes on others, repress troubling emotions (instead of sharing them with your trainer), and avoid pushing yourself outside your comfort zone. It’s also a major cause of fear of failure and perfectionism; so it goes without saying that your ego is definitely not always you amigo!

There are many different coping (good) and defense (evil) mechanisms. One of each is described for you below. In the coming months, I’ll introduce you to many more. Hopefully becoming mindful of the difference between adaptive strategies and ego defenses will help you to pick good over evil!

Coping Mechanism: Humility

Humble riders have something called positive-realism. They don’t think too highly of themselves, but they don’t think too poorly of themselves either. They make the best of a bad situation without losing their confidence, trying to avoid it, or looking for scapegoats. Humility allows them to create the “just right” amount of self-importance that helps them avoid developing an over-inflated, prideful sense of self-importance that can make them want to defend their fragile ego.

Defense Mechanism: Projection

Projection happens when you place uncomfortable thoughts or feelings onto someone else, or when you react to your own incorrect impulses as though they were happening to someone else. In this way, you project your own unacceptable feelings on to others; like when you dislike a judge but make yourself feel better by saying she doesn’t like you, or when you say something like, “I’m not the one who’s afraid of failure, you’re the one who’s the perfectionist!"

Riding is a tough sport requiring tough decisions made by tough athletes. Learn to be that tough rider by taking responsibility for every part of the ride (including the bad stuff) instead of projecting them onto someone else. Learn to believe that the good in you is capable of making a bad situation better!

I hope you enjoyed this month’s tip and that I’ll get the chance to teach you in one of my upcoming summer clinics. For more information on my clinics, or hosting one, please visit www.pressureproofacademy.com.

Oct 21, 2021 Eventing News

One-Week Bid Process Now Open for Week 19 CCI4*-L in 2022 on East Coast

Following the cancellation of the Jersey Fresh International Three-Day Event for 2022, US Equestrian will open a one-week bid process to fill the date on the 2022 U.S. Eventing Calendar. Per the 2022 U.S. FEI Eventing Calendar Policies and Procedures, applications to host the CCI4*-L level during the 2022 competition season are accepted by invitation only.

Oct 21, 2021 Competitions

Fast Facts: The Event at TerraNova

The addition of a new event to the competition calendar is always exciting, but the Event at TerraNova in Myakka City, Florida aims to really wow their first-time competitors at their inaugural event with top-notch competition facilities, stunning course design, exceptional amenities, and a horse show experience unlike any other. With a roster of 142 entries altogether from Starter to the in their CCI4*-S level, the Event at TerraNova is off to a great start!

Oct 21, 2021 Competitions

Weekend Quick Links: October 22-24

Are you following along with the action from home this weekend? Or maybe you're competing at an event and need information fast. Either way, we’ve got you covered! Check out the USEA’s Weekend Quick Links for links to information including the prize list, ride times, live scores, and more for all the events running this weekend.

Oct 21, 2021 Convention

Get Excited for the 2021 USEA Annual Meeting & Convention with Throwback Thursday Content

The 2021 USEA Annual Meeting & Convention will take place in six weeks on December 9-12 in Albuquerque, New Mexico. This will be the first time in two years that USEA members will have the opportunity to reunite in person to celebrate the year in eventing. In 2018 eventers celebrated in New Orleans, in 2019 riders reunited in Boston, the 2020 USEA Convention was held virtually but this year will be a meeting to remember as eventers are headed to the great state of New Mexico!

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