United States Eventing Association

The one thing we all know—and can admit—is that we’re imperfect. No matter how hard we try we’ll all do our best but sometimes it just won’t be enough. We’ll all give 100% but sometimes we’ll still come up short. So, while we all know that mistakes and failures are part of our stories, the one thing that many of us still struggle with is knowing just how to react or respond to those imperfections. Luckily there’s a few neat sport psychology strategies that can help us make-sense-of-the-nonsense of perfectionism.

Two topics I’ve spoken about in past Pressure Proof tips are reframing and the labeling-theory. Reframing occurs when we purposely redefine what a mistake means to us—like when we reframe a mistake as a learning-opportunity—and the labeling-theory occurs when we change the words we use to describe a challenge—like when we combine the words frustrated and cranky into Franky (imagine saying, “I’m feeling frustrated and cranky” or saying, I’m feeling a little “Franky" today). Regardless of which strategy we use, changing the definition and label of a stressful event helps us change how we feel about it.

So just how can reframing and the labeling-theory help us overcome mistakes, mess-ups and missed-opportunities? Well one rather unusual strategy is to reframe our imperfections as cellphone updates. We love and depend on these amazing devices, but we also agree they aren’t perfect—and that if we waited to purchase a perfect one, we’d all still be waiting and using a rotary phone! We admire the power and potential of these devices, but we accept they’re imperfect. So here’s the takeaway: Let’s all learn to admire our own power and potential and reframe our mistakes as the little glitches that lead to our own next big personal update!

Another device that can help us reframe (or re-label) our imperfections is a car’s GPS: Those helpful devices that we’d be lost without (quite literally). Those devices that patiently and without judgment or self-defeating words recalculate our route every time we take a wrong turn, miss an exit, or go in the wrong direction. Those devices that quite literally steer us in the right direction; the direction towards our goals without shutting down our shaming us every time we make a mistake. They simply re-calculate and find another way for us to get to where we want to go to, and sometimes the new route is even more scenic than the original! So here’s the takeaway: the next time we mess-up, let’s just say “recalculating” and come up with a new way to accomplish what we missed the first time around.

So this month, let’s all remind ourselves that while we love and admire the power, potential, and patience of our phones and GPS’s, they’re all just works-in-progress like us…and to remember to always love and admire our own power, potential, and patience just as much. After all, they’re the bug-fixes that will allow us to create our latest updates by recalculating our paths in the future!

I hope you enjoyed my Pressure Proof tip and will consider joining me this summer in one of my Equestrian Athlete Training camps! Four days of equestrian sport psychology, fitness, leadership, nutrition, yoga, and more! For more information visit https://www.pressureproofathlete.com.