Jul 02, 2019

Daniel Stewart's Tip of the Month: Admit, Accept, and Advance

USEA/Jessica Duffy Photo.

One of my favorite sayings is, “Riders don’t make mistakes, mistakes make equestrians!” Mistakes make us bigger, bolder, brighter, and braver, but only if we have the courage to own, accept, and learn from them. Coping with mistakes, mishaps, missed opportunities, and messing up is, however, is a common struggle shared by many riders. Even thought we’ve all been told that mistakes are learning opportunities, not missed opportunities (which they are!) it’s often much easier for us to define ourselves by the mistakes that we make rather than by the effort that we made.

One of the most empowering skills any rider can develop - on or off their horse - is to learn to admit, accept, and advance from their mistakes. It’s been said that your last mistake is your best teacher, but you can’t learn from your teacher if you don’t go to class (or if you go to class but don’t listen to her). The same thing happens in riding. If you make a mistake but don’t accept it (i.e. you blame it on the judge, wind, rain, or horse) it’s like going to school but not being willing to listen to your teachers.

Developing the ability to own and accept mistakes (and more importantly, learn from them) often requires the use of a technique called reframing, which occurs when we learn to view (reframe) negative events in a positive way. While reframing can be a bit tricky in the beginning, it’s absolutely necessary if you ever hope to admit, accept, and advance from your mistakes. For example, instead of feeling disappointed or discouraged because you got disqualified, you reframe it into a learning opportunity by identifying what caused it so that you can avoid letting it happen again in the future. When you have the courage to do this, you can effectively change the negative into a positive and can now learn from the experience.

Believe it or not, one mandatory sub-skill when it comes to reframing is curiosity - learning to ask self-directed questions when feelings of disappointment or defeat arise. "What caused me to make this mistake?" or "What did I learn from it?" are examples of how positively-directed questions can lead to productive answers that can ultimately create a plan for improved future efforts.

In addition to learning to cope with mistakes, refraining can also be used to change a potentially stressful or fearful event into one that feels more manageable and less threatening (like when a nervous public speaker imagines her audience in their underwear). Changing what the stressor means to you (by reframing it as something else) changes how your brain views the challenge, how it responds to it, and ultimately how you cope with it. Two recent examples of reframing that I witnessed occurred when a rider stopped worrying about a scary fence by calling it "the big purple thingy with the flowered sticky-thing poking out” and when another rider imagined the judge as a good friend giving her friendly advice and helpful hints.

Regardless of the challenging situation - mistake or otherwise - it can almost always be reframed into something positive; but it's up to you to find what that something is. So the next time you get stuck in a rut, make a mistake, or finish poorly, always remember what Einstein said: "In the middle of every difficulty lies an opportunity,” but only if you have the courage to reframe the difficulty as an opportunity!

Photo courtesy of Daniel Stewart.

I hope you’re enjoying my monthly tips and that I’ll get the chance to teach you in one of my 47 riding clinics occurring around the country this summer, or that I’ll see you in one of my four-day Equestrian Athlete Training Camps held at the Lake Placid Olympic Training in July or at the IMG Elite Athlete Institute in Sarasota Florida in December. Riders of all levels and ages are welcome! For more information, click here.

Oct 26, 2021 Competitions

US Equestrian Announces Additional CCI4*-S, CCI3*-L, and Advanced Level Competitions for 2023-2027

US Equestrian is pleased to announce two additional competitions approved by the USEF Board of Directors to host CCI4*-S, CCI3*-L, and Advanced level events during the 2023-2027 competition cycle under the new Eventing Calendar Process. The Florida Horse Park has been allocated the CCI4*-S, CCI3*-L, and Advanced levels on Week 16 and the Advanced level on Week 40.

Oct 26, 2021 Volunteers

The VIP Volunteer: Jim Moyer

If you take one look at Jim Moyer’s Facebook page, you will see it is filled with sweet sentiments from the lives he has touched through his work in the equine industry. Moyer’s involvement with horses began when he met his future wife Jean 50 years ago. As Jean went on to become a prominent instructor in eventing, Moyer found that their friend circle was full of horse people, so it was only natural that he should find his place in the community.

Oct 25, 2021 Competitions

Winning Day for the Law Family: Great Britain's Leslie Law Claims CCI4*-S and Open Prelim Victories at The Event at TerraNova

Horses and riders in 12 divisions, from Starter to CCI4*-S, tackled the show jumping phase of competition Sunday at The Event at TerraNova, over a track designed by Nick Granat in the world-class setting of the main arena. Prize money was awarded in all divisions.

Oct 25, 2021 Convention

USEA Podcast #295: Maryland 5 Star Review with Jennie Brannigan & USEA Convention Preview

USEA Official Podcast Host Nicole Brown looks back on a brilliant Maryland 5 Star with Jennie Brannigan, reflecting on her fourth-place finish and highlights of the inaugural running of the event. USEA CEO Rob Burk and USEA President Max Corcoran then join Nicole to look forward to the 2021 USEA Annual Meeting & Convention which takes place in December.

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