United States Eventing Association

Daniel Stewart Tip of the Month: Let Go of Your Inner Caveman

Tip of the Month: Let Go of Your Inner Caveman

All of us agree that when we arrive at the barn, we arrive at a place that's more than just fences, paddocks, and arenas... it's our happy place. Unlike other sport venues, our happy place isn't defined by the venue itself, but by the relationship with our trainers, peers, and most importantly, the horses who live there.

But what happens when our happy place becomes a little less happy? What happens when our thoughts turn from friends, fillies, and fun to fears, falling, and freaking out? It's then that we must remind ourselves that success doesn't just come from doing what we love, but also from loving what we do.

Research has proven that we're up to 34 percent better at everything we do when we are happy (thanks to the release of hormones related to optimism and focus) and that, on average, we experience three daily positive events to every negative one. Unfortunately, even though the majority of our experiences are good, most of us are actually better at focusing on the bad.

Overly focusing on the negative is actually a protective survival mechanism dating back to caveman times (if a caveman spent his day smelling roses instead of focusing on threats he'd get eaten by a sabertooth tiger pretty fast). Unfortunately, some of us ride with a caveman mentality (i.e. getting bummed out about dropping one fence while forgetting to feel good about leaving the other 11 up).

How to turn off your inner caveman (or cavewoman):

Primary Effect

Always tell yourself what you did well before telling yourself what you did poorly. This encourages your subconscious to interpret the good more positively and the bad less negatively.

Telescopic Thinking

Always visualize what you did well as if looking through a telescope (so it looks big and impressive) and what you did poorly as if looking through the wrong end of the telescope (so it looks smaller, less ominous).

Pre-Ride Rituals

Repeating the same positive routine before every ride (like listening to the same favorite song or kissing your horse's nose) develops the perception of control and keeps your mind focused on the positive.

Stress Stopper

Identify a physical location where you'll stop any negative thinking (like telling yourself you'll stop thinking about work or school problems when you drive pass the mailbox at the barn).

Take the P21 Pledge

Your brain creates lifelong habits in just three weeks, so take a Pledge to be kind to yourself for the next 21 days, and don't be surprised if your new "happy habit" lasts a lifetime!

Self-unkindness is the cause of show jitters (comparing yourself to others), dwelling on mistakes (self-criticism), fear of failure (self-doubt), and perfectionism (unrealistic expectations). Self-kindness is, therefore, the key to solving them.

Don't be sad that rose bushes have thorns, be happy that thorn bushes have roses!

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