One of my favorite sayings is, “You don’t win ribbons at horse shows, you only pick them up there.” The idea behind this message is that our ability to succeed is really created in our schooling sessions where we learn and practice the many skills required to ride successfully.
Any day spent with a horse is bound to be a good day, because each and every one of those days will be filled with endless learning experiences and memorable opportunities. Unfortunately, sometimes it can be a bit tricky to see those opportunities for what they are, or even worse, mistakenly view them as obligations, and it can all start with a few innocent words, called obligation-creation phrases, that we might unintentionally mutter to ourselves.
One of the best thing about our sport is that we all get to share it with the people who mean the most to us. Our friends and family have an open-ended invitation to watch our classes, clinics, and competitions; and our trainers, grooms, horse owners, and barn-mates are permanent fixtures at our most meaningful and memorable events.
If you’re like most riders you’ve probably heard someone say something like, “Your last mistake is your best teacher,” or “if you’re doing everything right you’re doing something wrong because you’re in your comfort zone.” While I agree whole-heartedly with these sentiments, I actually prefer, “Equestrians don’t make mistakes. Mistakes make equestrians.” They make us bolder, braver, and brighter; but only when we develop a positive relationship with our mistakes and respond to them in productive ways.
Most people believe skill development is linear, meaning we start from nothing and gradually improve from there. They think the first point on the learning-graph starts low on the left and rises steadily upwards to the right from there. While this seems logical, it’s not actually true. The real graph of skill acquisition looks more like a slight up-slope followed by a plateau, a pit, and a peak.
We all do our best to respect ourselves and believe in our abilities, but sometimes it can be a bit harder than we might expect. As a matter of fact, it’s been proven that we respect and believe in others more than we respect and believe in ourselves!
When something breaks you throw it away. After all, it’s broken. It’s no longer perfect. From cups to cars we seem to let the value of things drop to zero as soon as they get a bit busted. But there’s a 400-year-old Japanese tradition called Kintsugi that might provide us with another alternative.
When horses are a part of your life there’s sure to be no shortage of amazing memories made at the barn with with these wonderful four-legged partners…but sometimes negative emotions like show jitters, doubt, fears, and anxiety can make you forget all about your most meaningful memories! It’s as if all the bad stuff can blind you to all the good stuff! This is called the negativity-bias; and while it sounds a bit discouraging, we can actually use its awareness to motivate us to never let it happen, and that’s where this month’s tip comes in!
This month we’re going to talk about a subject you’re likely familiar with and a few others that might just surprise you a bit. We’re going to talk about the growth mindset: the belief that talent can grow with time and experience; that skills are just starting-points that can be enhanced with the right amount of effort and practice.
Last month we began a series of Pressure Proof tips dedicated to the idea that positive thinking is one of largest contributing factors to riding success: competitive, recreational, educational, or otherwise. This month we’ll continue talking about how what’s happening between your ears is just as important as what’s happening below them and that what’s happening below them is actually always being controlled by what’s happening between them.
This month we’re going to begin a three-part series on how to create positive riding experiences by making sure the words you say to yourself and the thoughts you think to yourself are positive. Referred to as self-talk, internal dialogue, or brain babble; the words you say to yourself can have a huge impact on your performance. In fact, your thoughts and voice are actually considered behaviors, and just like how positive physical behaviors (i.e. a balanced transition) can create success, your verbal behaviors can also accomplish the very same thing. So let's spend the next few months talking about how to talk to yourself!