United States Eventing Association

Now On Course: A Letter to My Horse

Area V young rider Kylee Willis penned this letter to her horse, Drumloman Lad, or "Benji," a 13-year-old Irish Sport Horse gelding (Golden Master x Lismullig Clovers Ally).

Dear Benji,

This is one of those notes I wish I wasn't writing. But if I didn't get my thoughts to you in some (albeit cheesy) way, I might go crazier than the situation is already making me.

I am reaching a point in my growth, as a rider and as a person, where I am having to realize something that, for lack of a better word, sucks. That is that my plan is almost never going to be the way life actually goes.

Of course, a part of me always knows this, but when things are going so well, situations like this are a brutal reminder. I am so heartbroken that I won't be able to compete you anymore. Yes, because I love you, but also because this was NOT a part of my plan. Not by a long shot. I have such high hopes and dreams for myself, and I believed you would be the one to take me to them.

It is so important to remind myself during all of this that you did take me to them. You have done so much for me! From my first season at Novice with four top-3 placings, to a trip to AEC that was more successful than I had ever dreamed it would be, to second place at my first Training level event. This all in essentially one year. I could never repay you for such amazing experiences and so SO much learning and maturing.

I will try my best to do so, though. Repay you, that is. By doing what's best for you, by giving you time to heal and finding you the best possible future. You still have so much to teach someone, so much talent to share, but you've reached your limit with me, and I am finally coming to terms with it.

You have told me in your own ways that the upper levels are just too much for you, and I am so thankful you did because I have the chance to listen, and do whats right for you and me.

There is something about going through such a brutal loss with my heart horse that makes this situation a bit easier. You will be happy, and healthy. I will find another partner who will continue on what you started for me, and there will be times I will wish they were you, just like I often have wished you were Elliot. I am learning that this is the way things go.

I have moments where I wish I didn't form these strong emotional attachments with horses, it would make this so much easier. Then I think about how much sweeter it makes the victories, big or small, when I have such deep love for the partner I'm doing it with.

I am so thankful for you. I will make sure you are taken care of, whatever that looks like, and I will always have a special spot in my heart reserved for my big, applesauce eating, rain loving, Irish boy, Benji<3

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