United States Eventing Association

Well... it's that time of the year again (at least for us ducks who don't fly south for the winter). Time to get that first stinkin' event of the year out of the way. You know what I'm talking about - first time back in a dressage ring, first time trying to memorize a stadium course, first time trying to BRAID in teen-degree weather, first time trying to scrounge up/organize/clean tack for all three phases (and locate lost flash attachment... WHY do I always lose my flash? Why? It's inevitable... I should just make my own, darnit), etc... When all is said and done, you breathe a HUGE sigh of relief and say to yourself, "Aha! After I'm done icing/heating/icing/heating my poor aching muscles and reviewing the video/photo coverage of [said] event, now I can finally enjoy my season, because the FIRST one is now done. DONE. Halleluiah. Now, where's my Omni, my calendar, and my checkbook?"

Okay, so this past weekend was the Dreaded First Event of the Season for me... and I have to admit two out of three phases went great! What, you ask, happened in that first phase (and we all know it was the first phase that goes bad... ONE day we will get rid of dressage! Well maybe not, but me and my pony can dream, right?)?

Let's put it this way. My little Connemara pony seems to be lacking withers...NO saddle placement whatsoever. Well, actually the saddle placement ends up on her loins if nature had its way. There is NOTHING in this world that can keep my saddle from slipping. Nothing. I have tried breastplates, Nunn Finer non-slip pads, non-slip girths, starving my pony until she grows a spine (okay, not really)... but let's face it, I'm at wits end. What if I did a crupper AND a breastplate? How goofy would that look? Like a Thelwell cartoon, I assume.

So, now that we've established my mare has shoulders that would put a linebacker to shame... fast forward to Morven Park Horse Trials in Leesburg, Virginia last weekend. I've gotten there late (of course...it's the first event - this is what we DO), thrown the tack on in a huff, yanked on my boots (how did my calves get fat over the winter? I thought a steady diet of cookies and macaroni and cheese goes straight to your hips?), and sent the boyfriend running to grab my packet. Stuffing my coveted copy of my dressage test into my coat pocket I head for the warm-up ring. And immediately cringe.

Some eventers lay awake at night dreading that trot lenthening in their dressage test, that big fat trakehner on the cross-country course, or that SPOOKY oxer in stadium bedecked with bright pink Easter Bunnies... but me... I abhor the warm-up ring. People warming up scare the crap out of me. Not just in jumping but dressage - you know what I mean....those people who seem so "in the moment," but they're actually staring down between their horse's ears. What are you looking at? The answer to life's questions? The 8th Wonder of the World? I admit that I do that when I get bored at home and putter over the fridge and stare inwards... granted, I'm not risking anyone's life in the process. It takes ALL of my willpower not to shout, "Hellooooo? There are others here...not just you. Please don't trample me and my wee pony with your 17-hand charging warmblood. 'Kay thanks!" Would it be terrible to put not only a red ribbon on my pony's tail but a little red ribbon on her forelock as well?

Maybe I'm just being a selfish whiner, but I think we all deserve the same chance to succeed... we've all invested a lot of time, money, training, sleepless nights, miles on our trucks, etc. into this weekend. I, for a fact, KNOW that my pony will be a snorty little fireball if someone brushes past in the warm-up ring. Can't blame her a bit. We don't have the opportunity to school with other riders in our close proximity unless it's at an event. Not like I mind... But all I'm saying is PLEASE respect other people's space. Sure, your guy may be perfectly fine if someone canters up on his butt, but my little pony (and I'm SURE there are others of you out there who agree) will not be pleased.

One last thing... okay, seriously, if you're going to sit and chat with your trainer (or your mom, or your idol, or some random hottie, etc.) then can you slither just a few feet out of the ring and the way of oncoming riders? This way my pony and I won't have to silently curse you while you take up valuable warm-up space and we try to avoid crashing into you.... really, I'm happy for you that your guy is SO relaxed in the warm-up ring and all, but... yeah...I'll admire his relaxation when he's safely out of the way of the rest of us.

Okay rant over! Moving on - so yes... warm-up for dressage went fine, I'm going over my dressage test in my mind (over...and over...and over), and I'm actually feeling pretty good and I think Pony's feeling rather sprightly as well.

Get bit checked, watch the ride before me, try to breathe and not feel nauseous (is it weird that I feel more nauseous before dressage, not cross-country?), and here we go... trot down center line, turn at C, and then I notice it. Saddle's slipping. CRAP. I tell myself, it's okay.... just stay in balance, try to concentrate...nope...doesn't work. First 15-meter circle and I feel the damn thing slide to the inside. As I turn away from the judge, I STOMP in my outside stirrup to counter-act slippage. Works for a second.

I go through the test with a big fake smile on my face (hoping my cheese grin will distract the judge and she'll award me points for my bravery and tact). It was not to be. *Tweeeeet* Whistle blows. Are you kidding me? I about cried, because I KNOW that I didn't go off course. Dressage judge steps out of car, stares at me, and says, "Are you having issues?" I really did almost cry then. But no, I bit my lip, and said, "yes, I'm sorry, my saddle's slipping, and there's really nothing I can do about it." She told me to tighten my girth (have you TRIED tightening a dressage girth...you know, with those LONG billets...and that antsy pony?) Pony was pissed at this point from me wrenching around on her back-- Pony, if you're reading, I apologize, you got extra carrots later, remember? I struggled and huffed and puffed, but alas... girth was tight as a tick. And before you ask, NO, I did not slather Pony with Show Sheen. She's just "that way."

Judge sighs and says, "Alright, well off you go then, start from your stretch-down circle and we'll go from there." Bless you. Pony was not pleased with the interruption, however, and there was no "stretching down" to be seen... I half-expected the judge to whistle me again and say, "no you fool, the STRETCH DOWN, not trot really fast like a little gerbil and try out and jump out of the ring. Good bye, you are the weakest link!"

So I finished. Horribly. Afterwards, on the way back to the trailer, my boyfriend and I joked about her possible comments on my test. Just simple one-word or sentences... "Idiot. Tighten your girth." or "Nice pony, too bad her owner's a moron." or better yet, "F for Failure", etc... laughing about it later made it seem less terrible. Oh well... live and learn. The judge was, in my opinion, generous in my score as well...41 for a big, sloppy mess!

And for what it's worth, I am open to ANY and ALL suggestions regarding saddle slippage. Please. Share.

So that was the big hoo-ha of the weekend... the rest of the show was a piece of cake and made it all worth while. I thought that the stadium jumping course walked and rode great, but apparently that wasn't the case. Rails went flying, and I think people made it into a bigger deal than it really was... or perhaps it just rode great for my little sports-car pony. Who knows? It was a big, beefy bright colored course, but fair. Can't ask for any more than that. Pony nipped around the course playfully... definitely having a good time.

Cross-country was amazing. Dare you expect any less from Morven Park? It was an open, flowing, gallopy course with solid, but very natural-looking jumps... lots of big roll tops & coops & trakehners. No bright colored Disney characters or Sea World jumps... I was a big fan. A great first season course - nothing too technical, not too many combos, a sloping but relatively flat terrain... etc. All in all... just what I had in mind as our "pipe-opener." Challenging, but fun.

Pony cracks me up... her little 14.1-hand self pops over these maxed-out Training fences like they're nothing but then spooks horribly at odd-colored grass, a jump judge's pink hat, a cow in the other county, etc...( "Oh, hey, triple-bar , meh! Wheee! Whatev! La la la... oh my GOD, squirrel IN the woods...right now! Look! There, 500 yards away! Yes, there! LOOK! Eeeeeek...*spooking into the undergrowth as I cling on for dear life*)

Love her to death... she obviously had as much fun as I did this weekend (for two out of three phases, heh heh...).

If you're interested, you can check out our fun video on youtube - complete with good music! Love the way she's BORED during stadium (look at her flop ears... she was totally headed out the in-gate, too), and during cross-country watch as she spooks at NOTHING on the ground in the beginning (and trots into the water... The Pony refuses to get her feet wet without a legitimate reason...thankfully it was just an itty-bitty log hopping out!). Stinker! Thank God for Sadl-Tite. :) And wow... nothing like the first event of the year to remind you to get your sorry butt back in shape... I saw my swingy leg towards the end of the course, and I thought, hm... Pony's fitter than me! Ick, time to dig out the ol' jogging shoes and trade in my mac n' cheese for granola!

All in all, I was very pleased with my weekend and even more pleased with my pony -- we ended up 7th in a HUGE division after pulling in two double-clear jumping rounds. I couldn't have been happier :)

Welp, that's it for now... I'm flying down to The Fork this weekend, so I'll be posting lots of Gold Cup coverage and pictures - looks like a FULL house this weekend down there, too!